Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Deep Thoughts...Bordering On Unfathomable
About once a week, I get a Facebook message from the husband, in which he lists off the activities he and the kids have for the week. This list seems quite extensive...golf practice, bowling, Boy & Cub Scouts, soccer practice and games, Drama Awards banquet, and on and on and on.
That's a lot of running and driving and eating on the fly for my family in Iowa.
And then...there's my schedule. Considerably slower: work, walk, shower, read, explore the island, eat. Repeat for five and a half more months.
You don't have to tell me who's got the more difficult, stressful job. I wake up every morning, grateful for the support system I've got in place. Most people here on the island are shocked when I tell them I have a spouse and three kids back home...who miss me (enough as I miss them, though?) But I am incredibly lucky. Incredibly.
I have no TV in my room and I don't have a great working Internet. At first, that was rough. I'm used to have fast, quick Internets and being connected to things.
But, now, in those few moments I have in the mornings while I'm having breakfast, I check Facebook, and I find there is nothing there that hardly catches my eye anymore. A couple of conversations that are important to me, a few pictures, and birthday notifications...but beyond that, most people on FB are living their lives like they've always been wont to do.
I'm the one who's changed, I guess.
I'm trying not to sound judgmental...it's just, well, I'm here in a place where my everyday decisions are pretty black and white (do I walk to work or take a horse taxi? Do I go the wine cellar tonight or stay home and read Shakespeare?) And well, it feels easier to keep a good balance here when my options are limited. I was used to thinking that if I had more, I'd feel more freedom...but actually, the opposite is happening - the less I have, the more balanced I feel.
Which brings me back to Brent who feels pulled in five directions on a DAILY basis. He has to prioritize and minimize and juggle his work schedule, the kids' activities, and all those other necessary things like eating, sleeping, and maintaining personal hygiene.
I can't tell you enough or emphasize it so desperately...I am so very lucky to be here. I hope someday, the ones I love will be lucky enough to be here too. And I mean really be here.