Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Deep Thoughts...Bordering On Unfathomable

About once a week, I get a Facebook message from the husband, in which he lists off the activities he and the kids have for the week.  This list seems quite practice, bowling, Boy & Cub Scouts, soccer practice and games, Drama Awards banquet, and on and on and on.

That's a lot of running and driving and eating on the fly for my family in Iowa.

And then...there's my schedule.  Considerably slower: work, walk, shower, read, explore the island, eat.  Repeat for five and a half more months.

You don't have to tell me who's got the more difficult, stressful job.  I wake up every morning, grateful for the support system I've got in place.  Most people here on the island are shocked when I tell them I have a spouse and three kids back home...who miss me (enough as I miss them, though?)  But I am incredibly lucky.  Incredibly.

I have no TV in my room and I don't have a great working Internet.  At first, that was rough.  I'm used to have fast, quick Internets and being connected to things.

But, now, in those few moments I have in the mornings while I'm having breakfast, I check Facebook, and I find there is nothing there that hardly catches my eye anymore.  A couple of conversations that are important to me, a few pictures, and birthday notifications...but beyond that, most people on FB are living their lives like they've always been wont to do.

I'm the one who's changed, I guess.

I'm trying not to sound's just, well, I'm here in a place where my everyday decisions are pretty black and white (do I walk to work or take a horse taxi?  Do I go the wine cellar tonight or stay home and read Shakespeare?)  And well, it feels easier to keep a good balance here when my options are limited.  I was used to thinking that if I had more, I'd feel more freedom...but actually, the opposite is happening - the less I have, the more balanced I feel.

Which brings me back to Brent who feels pulled in five directions on a DAILY basis.  He has to prioritize and minimize and juggle his work schedule, the kids' activities, and all those other necessary things like eating, sleeping, and maintaining personal hygiene.

I can't tell you enough or emphasize it so desperately...I am so very lucky to be here.  I hope someday, the ones I love will be lucky enough to be here too.  And I mean really be here.

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